Reflection

If you know ANYTHING about me, I’m a goober for mushy gushy sentimental things. I like looking back on the past and seeing how much I have grown, what in my life has changed, what new hobbies I have created, and which ones I have lost. I like change, but I hate it all at the same time. I despise letting go. My roommate had to force my hand into a trash can and yell at me to throw things away as I began packing up my first ever college dorm room. I like looking into the past, seeing what I can learn from it, and applying it to the future. I like keeping things so I can remember them.
I guess I do that because I’m scared if I let something go, I might forget about it (precursor to Hoarders?? I sure hope not). It is a startling reality. I am TERRIFIED of forgetting the good things in my life. If I could, I would record my life so I could go back and look at the happy times. I would look at my life through my later eyes and enjoy the smiles I shared and the memories I made.
“What does this have to do with the price of eggs in China” might be what you are asking (which many, many people I have come to school with have not heard of and left them thoroughly confused, which amuses me). To answer your question, I felt like reflecting. I wanted to talk about the good, the bad, and the just plain ugly, that have occurred in this past year. Starting with graduation festivities.

Let’s start with this memory. This is one of my favorite memories in my LIFE. I love these people so much. They are my IB family. I cried with them, yelled at them, almost killed some of them, but we made it through what most people can’t say they have: IB. This day was an accumulation of two years of hard work. We left school after the most boring awards ceremony known to man, then travelled to Mi Hacienda, where we ate, laughed, and created memories. The best of which being me walking into the bathroom, spotting a cockroach, screaming, then running out with Allysa, Mindy, and Miracle, laughing and crying. Connor then responded to the staff singing “la cucaracha,” and we talked about it for the rest of the day. We went to the IB Book Signing, where I wrote the wrong graduation year, Miracle made us bawl our eyes out, and we were blocked off by a train. I got this award:

We played this game:

And ate pizza when Christian “went to get help for his French IB exam.” Then I graduated. I walked across that stage, got my diploma, and took, what I’m sure the most horrible picture was in the world, after getting a 2nd degree sunburn. I went to Orlando, went to Harry Potter World, was asked if I was OK after my picture came up of me looking terrified in the Spider portion of the ride, and was carried across a large row of people. I prayed more than I have in my entire life, and the Holy Spirit did some crazy awesome stuff. Then Super Summer happened. DUDE. It was ridiculously awesome. I cried, I laughed, I stood up in the middle of the cafeteria holding both hands in the air in silence with a few others, and tried not to laugh as I saw the confused looks of others. Then, I went to college. I’ve never been more nervous in my LIFE. I crammed all my stuff into the spacious “jail cell” and waited to see what God had in store for me.

For the record, this is probably the cleanest my room has ever been. I then made some really awesome friends, and dressed up like a shower.

I even wore a fake mustache to Wal-Mart.

Then before I knew it, I was home for Christmas. I went to Passion 2012, one of the coolest events I have ever had the privilege to be a part of.

Honestly, this past semester has been a blur (not from alcohol, I promise). I can’t remember any moments from this semester. Especially significant ones. But, a lot has happened. I know I cried a lot. I cried in frustration, in happiness, in sorrow, in joy. I cried for friends, myself, and people I didn’t even know. I cried because of misunderstandings, back-stabbings, and missing home (which I haven’t done since elementary school). I drank too much coffee, didn’t read my Bible enough, and formed some great friendships. And after all this, I am exhausted. I am too stressed, too overwhelmed, too everything. I want to be home. I want familiarity. But I want my pictures and letters to look back on. I want about 10 books to read, lots more coffee, a pool, cookouts, and friends to spend my summer with. I want to grow in Christ more, relax, and breathe the fresh-ish air of Decatur, Alabama, my home. Familiar. I’m sure, come July, I will be screaming to get back to college, but that is how life works. Or, at least mine does. I will want to return to the beautiful scenes of Tennessee, see my wonderful friends again, and make new memories. But, I will never, ever forget my past. The great things that have happened to me, the friends I have made and the ones I have left behind. I will cry when I have to let go, and I will put up a fight. Because I love memories. Because I love people. I think the verse that I have really held onto this past year, and I believe I have mentioned it previously, is Ecclesiatstes 3:1-8. It expresses, and reminds me in my impatience, to hold on, and in the right time, everything will come to fruition.
There is an occasion for everything,

and a time for every activity under heaven: 
 a time to give birth and a time to die; 
a time to plant and a time to uproot;
 a time to kill and a time to heal;
a time to tear down and a time to build;
 a time to weep and a time to laugh; 
a time to mourn and a time to dance; 
 a time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; 
a time to embrace and a time to avoid embracing; 
 a time to search and a time to count as lost;
a time to keep and a time to throw away;
 a time to tear and a time to sew;
a time to be silent and a time to speak; 
 a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.

Love,

Megs.