Yeah, I know…it’s
been almost seven months since I last posted. I can’t say that I didn’t have
time. I did. I had time upon time upon time. But the problem is, is that time
that I had bookoodles of was filled with me trying to figure out ways not to be
as stressed out. I’m not going to lie. This past year was HARD. Sophomore year
beat me up, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I tend to internalize my
stress. My outsides never truly reflect how stressed I am. This may seem odd
because when you see me stressed, I’m running around ready to scream. But
that’s just it, I don’t scream. I don’t let my stress out. I keep it all
bottled up inside till I have an emotional breakdown. Many occurred in private…a
few in public. But the thing is, all this would be solved if I would just RELY
on GOD.
Rely on God, I say. Now I dare
you to give me another phrase that we use in our daily walks as Christians that
is thrown around so much, but so hard to act upon. No, really, I dare you. I
can’t think of a single one. Not one. I stress, worry, cry, vent, and pull my
hair out. But I don’t rely on God. My friends tell me “Meghan, you have to
start relying on God! You are way too stressed!” I know this. So why don’t I?
Why don’t I do the one thing that I know for a fact and without a doubt in my
mind will relieve me of all my worries, fears, and anxieties? I guess that’s
the human thing about it. No matter how secure we are in our faith, we all try
to be “super-Christians.” You know those Christians who walk around like they
don’t have a care in the world and that they have it all together. It’s like we
believe that God has given them some sort of magical potion that makes them not
stressed and anxious and worried.
Worry is a sin. I think. Well…in
my case it is. Sin is anything that gets in between you and God. It’s that
thing (those things) that holds you back. So maybe other people just handle it
better than I do. Maybe they don’t. But you know what doesn’t solve worry?
Pretending it doesn’t exist. Several months back I was extremely upset about
something. Of course, I wouldn’t let it show on the outside. Some of the wisest
words that have ever been spoken to me came out of this situation. I was
telling a friend about what had happened-someone had broken a promise. I said
it was ok. She told me that no it isn’t. It hurts. I know it hurts. So stop
pretending like it doesn’t. That burned deep. Stop pretending. Isn’t that what
our society tells us to do? Look at social media. Look at facebook, twitter,
pinterest, whatever. It is about more than connecting. It is about letting
people know how awesome you are. Seriously. I do it, you do it, we all do it.
We look at our facebook posts, our twitter tweets, our pins on pinterest. We
automatically think-Who will like this? Can I get a retweet? What does this
make other people think of me? To some extent, we are all products of a
self-centered, vain, and conceited culture. We want others to see the good
things. The cute clothes, cool friends, bible verses on how good the Lord
is-which He is really good, not trying to say that’s wrong. But we hide the bad
things. We hide the fears, the worries, the anxieties, the STRESS. We hide our
brokenness.
So my challenge for myself-and
you if you’re willing to take it-is to STOP PRETENDING. When someone asks what
they can pray about for you, tell them the truth. When a brother or sister in
Christ asks what’s wrong-tell them. Don’t try to hide it. Because nothing is
unappealing as a big group of fakers. Let’s be real. Let’s be really real. Let’s
rely on God-as hard as it may be. But let’s ask God to help us rely on Him.
That may sound crazy. It probably is. But nothing is as crazy as having the
antidote for a deadly poison and not taking it, right? We have the cure easily
accessible. We can reach out our arm, and pick it up. So let’s do it. And part
of the healing process is being real. Let’s not pretend like we’ve got it all
together. Because we don’t. But let’s exude the joy that is ours through
Christ. And that, my friends, is what happens when I put things off.
Now to close us out with the
world’s best and most over-quoted (well not over-quoted, it is the Bible) verse
about worry:
“This is why
I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you
will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food
and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky: They don’t sow
or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you
worth more than they? Can any of you add a single cubit to his height by
worrying? And why do you worry about clothes? Learn how the wildflowers of
the field grow: they don’t labor or spin thread. Yet I tell you that not
even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these! If
that’s how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown
into the furnace tomorrow, won’t He do much more for you—you of little
faith? So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we
drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ 32 For the idolaters eagerly
seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need
them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His
righteousness, and all these things will be provided for
you. Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry
about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
-Matthew
6:25-34
